A Leap of Faith

There’s loads to share and yet for some reason I haven’t been in the space to sit down and write, even the daily journalling has fallen by the wayside. Part of this could be because I haven’t actually ‘settled’ yet, even though I’ve fully acclimatised to being back in the UK. In truth a lot has happened during the last 5 weeks, most of it wonderful…

As soon as I landed in the UK I went straight to Cornwall to be with family. The first week was spent sleeping a lot, being cooked for, and slowly adapting to TV, multiple conversations, and being surrounded by clutter. Sensory overload or what? A rural retreat was calling and I was feeling self-imposed pressure to write, so I was soon off to view accommodation in a village that seemed it could be rather special. All too soon I committed to moving in, planning to first go to Puravida at Osho Leela following the Osho link.

The second week I started to feel the magic of synchronicity again as I returned to Bristol to take care of practical matters, face yet more belongings, dance & then unexpectedly rediscover my singing voice. The latter led me to hear about a singing camp - something I never knew existed and felt undeniably drawn to. It conflicted with my prior decisions and commitments but upon reading the flyer ‘you don’t need to be a singer, just come if your heart calls you’ I felt strongly I had to go.

During the third week I agonised about having made decisions ahead of time knowing deep down that I still needed to relax, go moment by moment, and trust I’d soon come across a great place to live. Money worries were up in my face again because I’d thrown away a week’s rent to put up a tent and join a community of 90 singers on Dartmoor. I realised I was experiencing a conflict of interests - wanting to rent space in a rural retreat to focus on writing, but also be free to run around visiting friends and having fun, without working or earning at the same time. After a couple of days the anguish melted away and was in no doubt I’d made the best decision to attend the singing camp.

Going into week four I was half way through the camp. I was absolutely loving the daily harmonies and bathing in the fresh water plunge pool, feeling a wonderful sense of belonging and feeling my whole body raise in vibrations, my heart open and sing. Since the first 12 months was all about uncovering my heart’s desire and the focus has now shifted to creating a life with what I’ve discovered, I wasn’t expecting another new passion to emerge. As well as reminding me again how important a sense of belonging and community is, the experience showed me how I’d dismissed singing for the last 20yrs as some form of melodic shouting that I did for my own entertainment in the car or shower. I shan’t be queueing up for X-Factor but I do intend to take my voice somewhere, first stop is a local choir group. 

Since returning from the camp just over a week ago I’ve spent much of my time drifting around in a state of bliss. So many wonderful connections were made, some very special, and I’m taking time to see how certain elements of the experience can exist in my situation ongoing.

I finally moved into the cottage I committed to earlier and it’s really beautiful here, very idyllic. The urge to go off and do other things still exists and as of yesterday I’ve booked a place at the tantra festival at Osho Leela, working a 4hr day to reduce cost and allow me to do one of two workshops each day. So I will get my dose of Osho after all.

The Swedish link is also still alive and well. I’ve since heard from another old friend there from another era, so reasons to go seem to be mounting. Not for a while though. I must at least finish the What Happened series before I go overseas again, the one thing I’m passionate about that can be a channel for financial abundance to flow.

Even though I know I can live in abundance without pursuing an income I’m growing a little tired of not having one. And perhaps one of the reasons why there isn’t one is because I believe, think, and say things like that! With the absence of a mentor one must facilitate oneself mustn’t one…?!

So what I meant to say was: I’ve really loved the freedom of investing in such an enjoyable and rewarding project, choosing to only do what I love and trusting that the money I need to continue living a fulfilling life will follow. I’m curious to know how that will manifest and I’m enjoying exploring the unknown with an open mind and heart, letting it all unfold in it’s own sweet time and seeing what magic the universe will weave next…