A Leap of Faith

When I awake in the morning I always know it’s a bad idea to get straight online. Today I proved to myself why. Perhaps I’m in a more sensitive space when I first wake up and so if I pick up on something slightly low vibe then it could end up being rather contaminating. Then if my frequency lowers this may result in attracting other things that compound that state.

This morning I was multi-tasking with my focus in a number of areas, so I’m not sure what first ‘brought me down’. I’d woken from a feel-good dream, but I was shattered from an epic journey yesterday (story to follow) so perhaps I was at a low ebb. I noticed a story about Amy Winehouse on yahoo as I was logging in and was compelled to read it. The news was all about her battle with the substances and was basically airing views of her downfall.  A short way below the article I noticed that ‘LES’ had posted the following comment:

“… the sooner she ODs the better…”

I’m used to seeing comments from LES, my father, pop up in the updates section of yahoo when I’m logged into my email account. Sometimes they’re slightly controversial, but this one sent me tumbling into a state of deep disappointment and upset. Especially after reading some of the responses to his comment, calling him a w*&^%$ and really tearing into him. And I agreed with them. Was my father really that angry? All I kept thinking was, this is really testing my ability to love unconditionally.

Rather than steaming in with an accusation I decided to enquire in a roundabout way as to whether he’d made the comment.

Guess what, it wasn’t him! Of course not, how many people called Les do I think use yahoo? It was a name, not an id. And it’s quite likely that more than one person will choose to enter their name in caps. Why did I immediately jump to such a terrible conclusion? Where exactly was my head at? I can only think that I dropped to a lower frequency than normal based on some sort of trigger and then this vague possibility that the LES in question was my father.

I was lying out in the garden a while afterwards, thinking about what I’d read and my reaction. I guess I felt like sharing this story for a couple of reasons, and both relate to vibrational frequency.

Firstly I was dwelling on how angry that LES must be to write something so damning. As well as the 70+ people that had ‘liked’ it. How one can only really think and feel that way when feeling less than positive about themselves. And becoming aware again of how it’s this internal dissatisfaction, of oneself and circumstances, that is a driving force behind physical attacks on others, whether that be abuse or war.

I know from personal experience that I only ever think or feel ‘negatively’ towards someone if I’m not in a place of love and acceptance of myself and my personal circumstances. When I’m feeling good about myself I’m vibrating on such a high frequency I just cannot relate to anything that isn’t on that level. A ‘negative’ thought could materialise but it just wouldn’t be able to stick.

The exception to this rule could be if someone is clearly levelling an attack against me personally. But even then, if I can maintain a high enough frequency I’m unlikely to be adversely affected by.

It made me wonder what the hell I was on this morning, to have made such an error of judgement. Tiredness? Being extremely sensitive? Or does it come down to the simple fact that I have to be very careful with where I go on the internet, especially if it’s first thing in the morning. Whatever the answer is, I’m 100% certain that if I was feeling unconditional love and acceptance for myself at that point, and therefore vibrating on a high frequency, the judgement and the gross error, just wouldn’t have happened?

But… in a way I’m glad it did, since it was thought-provoking in a way that I find fascinating and very enlightening. So I’m back off out to the garden to have my thoughts provoked a little more. And while I’m doing that, see if it provokes your thoughts too… How do you feel about the people in your environment at the moment? How do you feel about you?