A Leap of Faith

The internet hasn’t really played a very big part in my life during the last 3 months – hence the lack of blog entries. My laptop apparently wanted to hibernate (flashing the blue-screen of death at me countless times in the weeks before my departure) so it was banished to a cold, dark loft for the winter to do just that. I was content to write my journals and figured I’d use internet cafes or borrow the odd laptop here and there when really necessary & to post brief updates. Having access to a computer at Balenbouche was a bonus, but that was more about information gathering than blogging anyway.

Post St Lucia, the natural disaster and aftermath, I feel like I’ve been existing in a number of different realities. Perhaps trying out different realities to see what worked for me. A lot of the time they revolved around the sea - sailing, cruising, ‘working’, and living on boats. Since I’d had the original insight, walking through St Katharine’s dock, I’d known my venture had something to do with boats. Problem was I’d hated being on boats and I saw immediately I was going to have to test out my beliefs about mental alchemy – being able to reprogram the mind in order to have a different and more beneficial/pleasant experiences. Much of the time my focus has been on what i’ve wanted to experience and overwriting old habitual thinking and responses.

A wonderful synchronistic link, through an unknown friend of friend on Facebook, connected me up with my first sailing opportunity and things have flowed from there. I spent 18 days cruising Grenada and the Grenadines, making new friends and contacts along the way. I then spent 2 weeks on the beautiful unspoilt island of Carriacou, becoming part of the local community. Then an offer landed in my lap to help deliver a boat from Panama to Cancun all expenses paid, including my flights from Grenada to Panama – by this point I could hardly believe what opportunities were presenting themselves, literally out of the blue…

Despite loving the caribbean island lifestyle, this was an opportunity far too adventurous to be missed. Approx 1 week and 1000 miles at sea was going to challenge the hell out of me but I could not consider turning it down. I was aware that it could very well scare me to the point of insanity but this experience, for some crazy reason, I really wanted!

Each one of these phases was like living in a very different reality, especially the situations where I was living aboard a boat. The motion my body was experiencing was alien to me, I was sharing a small space with people I’d only just met, and all the sights, smells and sounds were completely new. At times life felt quite surreal, and at times I’d ask myself ‘exactly why are you putting yourself through this?’ – especially whilst I was in Cuba.

I’ve been back in the UK for 3 weeks now and enjoying the ease of knowing the language and how things work here. It’s a great opportunity to rest, reflect and take stock of things. When the conscious mind is so active with new stimuli, and not much beyond breathing being automatic, it’s amazing how exhausting it can all be.

So I’m really enjoying this brief reprise and I honestly couldn’t give a shit that it’s much colder here – I’m an Aries, so I like wearing wool. That said, I also like the sun, and the sea, and I hear Grenada calling me to return. And there are more feelings to follow that involve travelling to the States in a couple of months. So for now I shall get my fill of good food, friends, and the beautiful english countryside, and the great mountain of belongings that I left behind. To travel light is truly a wonderful thing…