A Leap of Faith

Since choosing to focus entirely on the concept / term ‘Conscious Business’ I seem to have naturally come across much more pleasant business transactions where I - as the customer - am really being taken care of… Both in quality of service and financially.

One of the defining components of Conscious Business is that the interests of all stakeholder groups are taken care of. That means customers, suppliers, investors, local community and the environment.

The experiences I’m having are not only really enjoyable but they make me want to support the person / business in question. Their generosity is inspiring me to give back to them in some way. This is how businesses will thrive in the future… by meeting everyone’s needs at the same time…

So many ideas, some opportunities arising, and finally one clear direction to travel in. Things are going well with the transition. Some fundamental perspectives need to shift though. If I’m going to exit this experiment and live fully in the material world then I need to embrace all that the system is built upon. That means money - earning it and spending it, acquiring it and investing it - and creating a container that can hold and retain what I wish to create.

So the next step in the process is to establish a new relationship with money - a sacred one instead of a scared one. Like in romantic relationships, it’s going to be most pleasant to see the beauty and wonder in the other. To love without condition. So that’s where we’re now going…

After much investigation and experimentation, I now know the value of intuition, flow, presence (etc) and how they bring a much greater quality of life. I have tested this out both ‘on the road’ and ‘on retreat’.

It is easy to guess how these ‘heightened abilities’ - that come when operating from a high level of consciousness - can be applied in the workplace, but I want to experience it for myself before I start offering guidance to people.

And so I feel a little mission coming on - something of a strategic move. To put myself into a position within the workplace where I can test out my approach and measure what happens in terms of my productivity. The aim is to be highly productive in a way that sustains my health and wellbeing - entirely the opposite of what I did the last time I was in that environment… which is now over 7 years ago…

So I am following this fresh energy and momentum to see where it takes me - to what kind of role, in what type of environment, and to what part of the country. At the moment I’m feeling open to what opportunities may arise. Having already been blessed with some nice synchronicity this week, I’m feeling good about how things may continue to flow in the moments to come…

Signs, messages and affirmation can appear out of some interesting and unexpected places…

After a couple of spontaneous conversations with old friends last night I found myself inspired to take a slight change of direction this morning, with a much needed boost of energy and momentum.

One friend suggested I invest in a course that would update a professional qualification I got exactly 10 years ago. I was struggling to see how it could possibly be relevant for now, but today am beginning to see matters in quite a different light. Perhaps revisiting something I used to do, and being open to take a contract as a consultant again, would give me more than just an income…

Suddenly a surge of energy compelled me to hunt down my old ‘ITIL framework’ pocket guide - which I found rather symbolically stuffed away in my loft - and then I found allsorts of folders and books I had forgotten existed. It surprised me to find that I felt a genuine urge to tap into all this again. That not only might it help me be ready to take an assignment, and therefore bring in some much needed funds, but that this could steer my mind towards the idea of being in business again.

The first book I picked up inspired a new business idea just from reading the front cover. After that, there was no more energy there… so I put it down and went onto the next one. This one is a book about Business Process Re-engineering that I borrowed from a colleague about 12 years ago, never read and clearly never returned.

The subject of ‘success criteria’ peaked my interest in the contents section so I turned right to that page. Straight off it’s emphasising the importance of people - their attitudes and behaviour - evidently something that I’ve been studying to a great extent in recent times. This was a much needed affirmation that perhaps I’m not as out of tune with the business environment as I thought.

The statements, rather than being dry and dull, kept resonating as I read on through until I got to one that really astounded me. In an entirely different context, but tying in directly to recent experiences and insights, plus the subsequent blog entry called ‘Words’, I read the following:

Mutual trust, especially between senior management and change teams is critically important. The blather and hype of much corporate communication emphasise the gulf between words and actions, and spread disappointment and despair. Many managers end up feeling betrayed and conned.

There’s really not a lot that separates these environments at all is there? It’s all about relationships, and the core values that they are built and measured upon - such as awareness, clarity, authenticity and trust.

After a few days of being in quite an edgy mood, and really feeling like I’d lost sight of trust - in myself and the universe - I’m feeling right back in the Groove again. Thank you to my catalyst-angels last night, and some nice red wine and cheese (err… also last night), I am feeling safe and warm again…

On Saturday night I ventured out for a ‘normal’ kind of party, with a ‘normal’ range of people, to celebrate a friend’s 40th birthday. This party was being held in rather salubrious joint called The Milkthistle in Bristol, and we were to be served our beverages from a small cocktail bar - drinks starting at £6 for a glass of house wine (*&^%(£$ how much?!)

After being so internalised, for so long I’d almost turned myself inside out, I have begun to long for the more ‘normal’ activities and events that I used to enjoy - sharing a bottle of wine with a friend, dining out, talking about something other than how the mind works. So I was looking forward to this night out, the chance to reconnect with that other lifestyle I abandoned some time ago and start integrating myself back into society again.

I have often been challenged by the more superficial conversation about hair and make-up, and other things that girls are supposed to be interested in, but when it came to talking about food (which I love) I at least thought I could show interest, listen intently and maybe even offer something in return.

The conversation moved into the realm of cheese, specifically a type of cheese beginning with E that was apparently really delicious and was now available from Sainsbury’s. The description of dipping a warm baguette into a pile of this special E cheese (served at room temperature) and enjoying that with a glass of red wine certainly got me interested and I thought, yeah… I may well look out that cheese the next time I find myself in Sainsbury’s.

“What was it called again?” I said. “Epicurean?”

I wasn’t really sure what that word was at the time, since I’d had a couple of glasses of sparkly wine, but it was just the nearest slightly familiar E word that came to mind.

It wasn’t until a couple of days later that I realised what I’d plucked from the air was not a type of cheese, or indeed any kind of food for that matter. Oh no, far from it… Epicurean is a ‘system of philosophy based on the teachings of Epicurus’!

Clearly I have a little way to go in terms of my integration back into normal society, before I can hold a conversation about what’s happening out here and what interests people anyway. God knows how it’s all going to pan out - it’s certainly been a little gnarly thus far - but I’m damn sure I’ve made the right move by returning.

PS. I think the cheese is called Epoisses. I’m pretty sure it’s not Epicurean. Although if there was an Epicurean cheese available I’d definitely like to sample some..

I said in a previous post that I love words. But in the last few weeks I’ve come to like them less and less and as a result pull right back on using them to express my thoughts, feelings, and intentions, instead preferring to just demonstrate and keep the chat to a minimum. What value to they really have if you are not following through on them in practice, if you do not fully embody them in your day to day behaviour? It seems I may have proved my point with the previous quote…

The transition back into the material world has been a tricky one thus far. My philosophy for life having worked well ‘on the road’ and then ‘on retreat’ is now getting a thorough testing back in this old/new environment, and the lessons through my interaction with others are coming thick and fast. Since moving I found that I wasn’t inclined to write online and latterly felt that words were falling way short of the mark. From this I thought, you know what… I think I’ll shut up for a while and just do my thing. The quote, “He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.” kept coming to mind…

What is meant by sharing these moments of clarity, insight and realisation that we have? Does it imply we are above everything and everyone around us? Erm… No. That wouldn’t be very enlightened would it…

Is it better to wait until we can fully embody an idea every waking moment of the day before we share it with others, or is it perfectly sound to share it when it is just an intention that we aim to live by? I guess it depends how much others need us to demonstrate what we talk about on a daily basis, how much they have invested in the way we naturally are.

When I share things it is because I know they are true, because I have experienced what I speak about to some degree. I’ve felt it and I want to feel it more, and so the statement I make it there to help me do that. Often I feel compelled to share it because it feels powerful. It rarely means that I have mastered it.

I have moments where I feel totally at peace, blissful, and yes, enlightened, but I don’t occupy this level of consciousness all the time because I often still resist certain thoughts, feelings and situations. And I find it hard to be vulnerable, be seen that way, when I’m connecting with someone that doesn’t encourage, or is unable to support that.

So is it better to leave such lofty quotes about enlightenment to the spiritual masters amongst us that occupy this frequency all the time, or is it useful to have those that experience glimpses of it to help spread the word about what true freedom feels like and how one might be able to experience it?

Maybe the answer is to be clearer about where one is in their own development when sharing incredible insights into the wonder of life. Perhaps by doing so one can present themselves in a more authentic light, and show they are in their integrity with what they say.

For me, if I am ever going to teach anyone anything I would much prefer it to be by example. This was the whole point of the Leap of Faith experiment from the outset - less talking, more walking. Show rather than tell.

The more I have investigated this whole area of the power of the mind, the more I’ve seen that the most important aspects are really hard to convey by the written word. To gain an intellectual understanding is great, but there is such a gulf between that and actually integrating it into your natural way of being.

In some ways, the less you read and the more you just listen to yourself and follow your inner guidance the better. Perhaps we would all reach a state of inner peace far quicker if we just stopped talking about it… We all have all the tools we need within us, so are all these words simply getting in the way…?

I love words…. And I’m discovering some really interesting and unusual ones to describe what this work is all about.

What started out as a long list of ideas and concepts about how best to approach life is now becoming consolidated into a single key term or phrase… Or a number of concise phrases that mean the same thing.

Since ‘New Paradigm Philosophy’ seems meaningless to many, I’m pleased to say I’ve now created some more palatable and appealing alternatives. Nothing appears to exist out there that truly encapsulates the philosophy and has a good name, so I thought I would make some up and see what sticks.

Another incredible breakthrough today - specifically about Time and our 3rd dimension concept of what is essentially the 4th dimension.

I’ve been experiencing it, and consciously accessing it, for the past 28 months to varying degrees, but it is only today that the deeper understanding sunk in about why - back in April 2010 - I was intuitively drawn to stop doing things according to the time on the clock and ‘drop my concept of time’.

It’s simply amazing what is available to you when you follow intuition without questioning it too much… You don’t need a super-brain to access great knowledge, you don’t need to spend years in education memorising information from lecturers and books, you don’t need to go to workshops to ‘get fixed’… You just need to sit still and be quiet for a while, just long enough to reconnect with the great wisdom inside and all around you that exists in the ‘empty’ space.

Listen, feel, trust, and then act… And then see what miracles can be experienced…

I have recently realised that whilst the internet, and social media, are brilliant tools, they are also limited. Or rather, operating from limited beliefs about how success is possible.

I’ve really enjoyed setting up my websites and getting a few books uploaded, but when I became entangled in the game of ‘selecting keywords’ I began to really deflate.

The (limited) thinking behind key words is essentially: you MUST choose the right (and few) words to describe your product/service otherwise people won’t be able to find you. If nobody can find you online your business will fail, you won’t earn any money and you will probably shrivel up and die of misery and starvation.

It’s an easy game if you are selling something really straight forward - like a bag of crisps - but if you’re offering something different or quite niche - which is supposed to be a really good thing in the marketplace and also, by the way, pronounced neesh, not nitch ;) - then you can very quickly and easily find yourself stuffed by this sudden threat of choosing the right words or else…

That’s when going about things the Old Paradigm way anyway. Thankfully, once I realised my energy was plummeting and all sense of joy had departed, I decided to step away from the computer and just drop the whole business of ‘online promotion’ for a couple of weeks.

Fortunately, once I’d stepped away from this doom-filled perspective on how to launch a business I realised that I cannot rely on the internet for connecting with people. That actually I need to be out in public, talking to people face-to-face. Out there I don’t have to choose a limited selection of key words, I’ve got the freedom of a much wider vocabulary. The internet, it seems, is there for back up, rather than being the main resource. And at some level I realise that this is really good news. Flow and synchronicity work well in online endeavours, but deliver in a much more spectacular way out on the streets…

A radical decision to take 2wks off at a time when I’ve got so much to do… my first day at the beach all year… my first swim in british waters in years… baking the best chocolate cake of my baking ‘career’… awake half the night because I ate it too late… a morning of so many insights I cannot write them all down quick enough…

Fast approaching Day 888 of the Leap experiment and I’ve now become aware that something truly amazing is coming…

That little insight to stop and do nothing for a couple of weeks has already delivered 1000x more in 2 days than I could’ve anticipated in the two weeks scheduled….

In less than 48hrs I’ve gone from joyless to overwhelmed with wonder and it feels like my head has flipped open once more to receive a tsunami of insight, clarity and realisation…  This is truly one of the best feelings on earth… If indeed I still am on earth…

More soon…

Has to be said I’ve been working my butt off for weeks now, months even… only ever breaking for a couple of days a month to go away somewhere. Most of the time has been in flow, but some has felt a little forced. Lately I have begun to feel more pressure to be productive as much of the time as possible. Self-induced of course…

I now have under 3wks until I’m back in the material world… once again committed to large monthly outgoings. Lots to do, so I began to putting in even more effort. Soon my back started to ache and the joy began to fade…

It was clearly time to stop for a moment and call in a bit of intuitive guidance. The message was loud and clear: Take two weeks off!

Rather than ramp up and go faster, the guidance is to Stop - the opposite to what one might expect - Step away from the computer. Be quiet. Go to the beach. Walk. Connect with intuition more. Forget about all the things that demand to be done asap in order to get ahead…

This philosophy is about allowing flow… not wading through treacle in order to bring about results. I’d only got within a sniff of the material zone and already have felt the limiting influence of ‘all the things I need to do to survive’ which just aren’t true… I’ve already proved as such and written about it. But I’m going back into the lion’s den once more, coming into contact with those who believe a, b & c are essential for survival when I know it’s really x, y & z. Protecting myself from the Old Paradigm abc looks like it might be tough. And maybe that’s why I need to take this break now… before I get caught in the desperate chase for money that’s driven by a sense of need and lack. Please… spare me! I refuse to go back there…

This transition is something of a secondary test for the philosophy. My intention, as always, is to live it fully, in whatever environment I choose. My belief - I don’t need to MAKE anything happen… only remain OPEN and ALLOW things to happen - easily, effortlessly, naturally… As if I was moving through life on a travelator.

After only one day ‘off’ I have to say I’m already seeing a shift - belief is stronger once again & I’m seeing more positive and potent results manifesting. Also getting some fantastic insights to assist with some irritations that have blown in during the last week or so.

There is so much available in stillness and silence. Within nothingness is everything - infinity. Through taking time out for a day I feel I’ve progressed far more than I have in the last few days of activity.

Sometimes the best course of action is non-action. And sometimes, I bloody love this philosophy… 

I read this post this morning and thought YES PLEASE! Give me some of that. Show me a loving, adoring partner who wants to know me deeply. Surround me with friends who can sit with me without judgement…

This kind of approach to connection is what I want to experience - in all my worthy relationships - both romantic and meaningful friendship.

(http://jamiecatto.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/listening-is-the-key-to-intimacy/)

How can I get that for myself? How do I ask for it? What can I do about those that never seem to listen properly, or jump to conclusions and totally misunderstand me?

The answer is to demonstrate it…

If I want someone to treat me in a certain way, then I must first demonstrate that treatment - to myself, and then others.

If I want someone to listen to me, really listen, and get to know me deeply, then I must first be quiet and listen to myself.

If I want someone to be truly caring and compassionate, then I show them how - by being really kind to myself and understanding of others…

If you want something to change, then change YOU. Then… the world changes.

I’ve had an interesting journey with this subject over the past few days. Firstly, witnessing unfair judgement and criticism of others - intensely and at close proximity; and secondly, receiving judgement of my own deeds.

Let’s say a close member of my family likes to judge and criticise. Sometimes it is playful, sometimes not. After being immersed in this relentless damning commentary for a sustainable period, whilst I worked my way up to saying something (nicely), I found myself completely crushed by it. It’s the kind of toxic chatter I don’t wish to listen to. I can accept it, but that doesn’t mean I want it in my space.

Because it was coming from someone I love, and want to spend time with in the future, I felt I must express how uninspiring I found it, and that it would be the kind of thing I would give a wide berth in future. Indeed I felt that for our relationship to continue healthily, I needed to make my position clear.

Raising awareness was the key, rather than deeming this behaviour to be right or wrong and demanding change, so I made that apparent. I actually don’t want him to change, just wind it down a bit. The feedback was taken onboard, peace was reinstated, and I was invited to point out anything that offended again in the future. All good.

No sooner had this challenge passed, than I began to receive judgement and criticism from others towards things that I had said and done. It wasn’t clear whether my words or actions had offended these people, but I was clearly being told I was ‘wrong’ or in some way unacceptable to them. Too much this, not enough that, not cool for doing such and such.

Constructive criticism - offered with kindness, respect, compassion, and good nature - is very welcome. Simply claiming that I am wrong because I think, feel and act differently to another - ie. making me wrong so that they can feel right - just pisses me off. Especially when that person is tooting the horn of accepting everything as it is.

Today I received a newsletter on the subject of being courageous to stand up and be seen. This message was bang on in terms of where I am currently at - having taken some bold steps, sharing my insights and experiences in the public domain, yet still in some respects ‘in hiding’. The essence of the piece was that in order to stand up and be seen, one has to be prepared for judgement and criticism, and it is often fear of these things that keeps one hidden.

So… perhaps my close encounters with the judging kind in this last week is a taster of that, since it is also in this time-frame that I have set a date to come out of hiding - fully and permanently. This experience of judgement - and acceptance - is up for acceptance and release. In other words, just get on with it and accept that there is judgement in the world.

The whole subject of judgement and acceptance is one of total paradox. It is so easy to be in judgement of something, to judge someone for judging another, and judge someone for not accepting something you’ve said or done. To to practice in the New Paradigm way, one must ACCEPT EVERYTHING - including Judgement. It is an interesting and confusing journey indeed.

And of course, everything is but a reflection. Which means… if I wasn’t judging myself none of this would be happening…

Well, I guess I can accept that…

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