A Leap of Faith

This morning I realise what a wonderful and fulfilling lifestyle I’ve created for myself.. in a way, without realising it. Had I continued to let outdated, limiting judgements stand in the way I wouldn’t be able to feel quite so happy as I do right now.

It’s not that I’ve reached a point where I have everything I want, ever. There are many other things I wish to experience. The difference is that I’m so fulfilled by how my time is spent now that I don’t feel in any way lacking. I’m excited about the other opportunities, events, connections and lifestyle that will come at points in the future, but I’m no longer reaching for them out of need.

Just 3mths ago I hit a point of feeling quite depressed. I felt very disconnected from the world, and often ‘left out’. So I decided I needed to go out to play more, at least for a few days every month. And that way I could feel connected to others, dance more and attend parties, but still progress with writing.

With this intent, and the work I’ve done with the Law of Reflection over the winter months, my life has transformed enormously. The quality of connection that now flows into my life is astounding - old ones upgrading and exciting new ones coming in. Added to which I’ve now really hit my stride with book production and the sun is shining…

I love now, I love change, and I’m excited about what the future holds… Does it get any better than this?

I said to someone the other day that I felt I was coming to the end of a 9yr transformation. There has been quite a bit of shape-shifting occurring during this period, but in terms of my identity and role in the material world my old corporate identity began to die off in the summer 2003 and I now feel ready to re-emerge with a totally new identity. It certainly would be good to have an identity and purpose once again. I’d really like to go out to play in the material world, rather than just stay indoors being spiritual all the time and having a social identity will help me to do that.

The transformation began when I was introduced to a very special and talented woman who offered psychic readings. The first reading in summer 2003 was the catalyst for much change - including beginning to write, and producing a novel. I cannot overstate just how brilliant she was, and how profound the sessions were. Nobody else has ever come close in terms of guidance, and I certainly had her on a pedestal. She gave up psychic work over 3 years ago now, much to my disappointment, and even though I knew liked reading for me I never expected to come into contact with her again…

For some reason I popped into her mind today, she hunted down my phone number and decided to call… just to know how I am. It feels significant, symbolic, and a confirmation that it is indeed time to re-emerge. Not half-arsed, as I did a few years ago, but now fully formed, as something much more resonant and authentic than before. Yes, I’m scared, but I am ready. Just need to get my hair done…

I know that everyone is equal and we are all one, but seriously… I actually feel like God just called!

Have to say I’m amazed at the wonderful connections with people that have manifested since I returned to the UK last summer. The degree of love, appreciation, enjoyment and fulfilment I experience just keeps getting better and better… especially in the last couple of months since I’ve taken time away to begin spending time with these new and upgraded connections I’ve made.

This is proof of the universal laws at work. Seeking proof for what I believed to be true about how life in the universe works being the whole point of the Leap of Faith experiment. It is proof that the only work you ever need to do is inside of you… not outside. And is so worth doing…

What I’m talking about here is essentially Personal Development - which can take many forms such as: changing how you operate in the world; improving how you feel about yourself; and just learning to accept yourself, everyone, and everything else, just as it is in this very moment. Don’t bother yourself with what people are doing out there, wishing they were different. Instead, take a look indoors, and see what you can do from there…

I’ve probably said this before but I’ll say it again…

If you want to manifest different friendships and relationships in your life, don’t just think about your ideal lifestyle and spend time visualising. Instead consider what you’re currently ‘seeing’ in others and understand that what you see out there is an indicator of where you’re at within yourself. If you’re not content with what you see out there, then consider the qualities you instead value. Aim to demonstrate them yourself first, to yourself and also in your outward behaviour towards others. Think of it as leading by example. BE what you want to attract into your life. And then, just watch what happens…

The further I get into producing Discovering the Heart the more I realise how deeply I need to consider what to write and how… And keep in mind everything I’ve written up to this point for continuity sake.

In retrospect I’m now more aware of what was happening at the time, yet for best impact the chronological story must only contain insights FROM that time… with the benefit of hindsight added in later. The real doubts, fears and challenges is where the juice is, not just the realisations that were later reached.

The other challenge is to avoid repetition - of which there is a pile, due to the process of reconditioning and time needed to integrate new behaviours. This needs to be conveyed, yet would be excruciating to read verbatim.

It’s taking a lot more thought and consideration that expected… but I’m enjoying the process and I trust the result will be a good one…

OK, so that’s two clear messages received in as many days about opening my mouth. The first being a spontaneous healing occurring in the presence of Maestro Constantino, around my jaw (leading to insights about using my voice more), the second being reminded of the Egyptian deity Ptah (a symbol given to me right at the start of Leap 2yrs ago) which means ‘opener of the mouth’.

I’m using my voice to write, but I also need to speak… Not feeling drawn to organise any talks or workshops at the moment because I’m so absorbed in the production stage with the books, but I am willing to give a talk or workshop on request… Just say the word…

Not only am I REALLY enjoying writing up this first year of the Leap of Faith experiment - Discovering the Heart, but I’m learning so much from the content too. Somehow, this time round (originally the first 3 parts of the story were written about a year ago) I am now able to plunge deeper into what was happening for me, and what was discovered, which should enable a better insight for readers.

With this deeper understanding, not only am I able to better assess the experiences of the time - so I can share what concepts were being tested, the results and lessons learned at each stage - but the process appears to be strengthening my current practice. It’s as if the construction of the book is becoming my education, for NOW. I learnt from the experiences I created at the time, and now I’m learning from them all over again. It’s amazing.

They say a teacher often teaches what they most need to learn. Well, it appears I’m giving myself a precious education simply by writing about and reading what I have already done…

And if there’s one lesson that keeps being highlighting it’s:

“Relax and enjoy now, whatever this moment brings… Everything’s working out perfectly…”

Long may the relearning continue…

The following rather neat equation has come to me this morning - AWARENESS + ACCEPTANCE = TRANSFORMATION.

You can only transform what you are aware of, and only if you accept and go ‘through’ what it is you want to change. It doesn’t happen if you resist, deny or reject what’s unwanted. And if you want greater transformation, you need to aim for increasing your awareness - so be open to learn more about yourself, with the intention of loving yourself no matter what you discover.

And of course the greatest thing you can do for yourself is just accept yourself as you are, with or without great awareness or transformation. How you are right now is more than good enough. Feeling no need to transform may be your greatest transformation yet!